xmjw

It's been a rough day. I had terrible insomnia last night and I think I finally passed out around 8am. Yeah, wtf? 8am! Thank you whomever I should be thanking. Then of course I don't want to sleep my day away because then it would be even tougher to fall asleep tonight, so I made myself get up at 1pm. My schedule and internal clock are clearly fucked up. Most people are getting up earlier than 8am for work. Well I guess that's what I get for working the schedule I do. The life of a server. Start my shift at 5:30pm and get out of there about 1:00am. And I'm the kind of person who can't just come home and fall asleep right away, I need time to wind down and enjoy the things that I want to do in a day. So naturally I'm awake until 4am most nights. I know that sounds terrible but everyone is different and that is just what I do. Anyway, I woke up so tired and upset today. I'm in one of those moods... you know.. those "why me?" moods. I guess it happens to most of us. Am I right? Or is it just me? I really didn't want to go into work and close the place down tonight, feeling the way I do. So I got my friend to take my shift and now I get a couple of days off. Which feels great. People think being a server must be the easiest job in the world, but it isn't. You have to put on this face every minute of your shift and make people believe that you give a shit that they're there. I mean yeah, I want your money... tip me good. But most people are so fucking cheap and leave a 10% tip, and I have to tip out 5% so really, I'm not getting much. So tip your servers people! They appreciate it more than you think. So, I'm glad I'm not at work right now. I get to relax and take a breather, because I am exhausted. And even though I'm exhausted, I'm not looking forward to bed tonight because I know it will just be the same way. I think I'm having troubles falling asleep because one of my new years resolutions is to slow down on the smoking of weed. When I quit smoking cigarettes on August 31 (I haven't had a puff since), I turned to marijuana. I smoked everyday. And while I love weed, your body learns to need it. My body is so used to falling asleep because of weed. So now, I go to bed, lay there and tell myself "fall asleep!" But my body has a different plan. But, my head is a lot clearer, my paranoia levels have gone down dramatically, and I feel healthier. I know it's only been a couple of weeks, but I feel great. Emotionally, I'm a wreck. Weed makes you feel a whole lot better when you're feeling depressed. You can feel like shit, and so upset about something, and bored in life, but when you smoke, all your worries are gone. You just want to do something fun, like watch a good movie or play some video games. Anyway, I'm not going to go to into detail about all of the reasons why I've slowed down on my marijuana intake (because there are bigger reasons). I just HATE insomnia!!!

That being said, with the tragic events that occurred on Tuesday in Haiti, my problems seem so minimal. It feels absolutely stupid and selfish to be so depressed about my life when these people have lost everything. My heart goes out to them all and I don't know how they're dealing with it, but I hope they can get through it. This world is falling apart. We are living in some scary years. What's going to happen next?

Anyway, it's 2010 and I'm going to try my best and make this year better than last. Isn't that what we all say every year?? But seriously, lets try to do that. I've recently purchased some... items... on ebay that should be on their way here by now :) I'm such a dork for buying these things but hey, that's who I am and I like what I like. I'm not going to say what they are though. :P Let just say I like video games, nintendo, toys, and pocket monsters? :P Too much information. I'm out.

Until next time

Michael