xmjw

It's been a rough day. I had terrible insomnia last night and I think I finally passed out around 8am. Yeah, wtf? 8am! Thank you whomever I should be thanking. Then of course I don't want to sleep my day away because then it would be even tougher to fall asleep tonight, so I made myself get up at 1pm. My schedule and internal clock are clearly fucked up. Most people are getting up earlier than 8am for work. Well I guess that's what I get for working the schedule I do. The life of a server. Start my shift at 5:30pm and get out of there about 1:00am. And I'm the kind of person who can't just come home and fall asleep right away, I need time to wind down and enjoy the things that I want to do in a day. So naturally I'm awake until 4am most nights. I know that sounds terrible but everyone is different and that is just what I do. Anyway, I woke up so tired and upset today. I'm in one of those moods... you know.. those "why me?" moods. I guess it happens to most of us. Am I right? Or is it just me? I really didn't want to go into work and close the place down tonight, feeling the way I do. So I got my friend to take my shift and now I get a couple of days off. Which feels great. People think being a server must be the easiest job in the world, but it isn't. You have to put on this face every minute of your shift and make people believe that you give a shit that they're there. I mean yeah, I want your money... tip me good. But most people are so fucking cheap and leave a 10% tip, and I have to tip out 5% so really, I'm not getting much. So tip your servers people! They appreciate it more than you think. So, I'm glad I'm not at work right now. I get to relax and take a breather, because I am exhausted. And even though I'm exhausted, I'm not looking forward to bed tonight because I know it will just be the same way. I think I'm having troubles falling asleep because one of my new years resolutions is to slow down on the smoking of weed. When I quit smoking cigarettes on August 31 (I haven't had a puff since), I turned to marijuana. I smoked everyday. And while I love weed, your body learns to need it. My body is so used to falling asleep because of weed. So now, I go to bed, lay there and tell myself "fall asleep!" But my body has a different plan. But, my head is a lot clearer, my paranoia levels have gone down dramatically, and I feel healthier. I know it's only been a couple of weeks, but I feel great. Emotionally, I'm a wreck. Weed makes you feel a whole lot better when you're feeling depressed. You can feel like shit, and so upset about something, and bored in life, but when you smoke, all your worries are gone. You just want to do something fun, like watch a good movie or play some video games. Anyway, I'm not going to go to into detail about all of the reasons why I've slowed down on my marijuana intake (because there are bigger reasons). I just HATE insomnia!!!

That being said, with the tragic events that occurred on Tuesday in Haiti, my problems seem so minimal. It feels absolutely stupid and selfish to be so depressed about my life when these people have lost everything. My heart goes out to them all and I don't know how they're dealing with it, but I hope they can get through it. This world is falling apart. We are living in some scary years. What's going to happen next?

Anyway, it's 2010 and I'm going to try my best and make this year better than last. Isn't that what we all say every year?? But seriously, lets try to do that. I've recently purchased some... items... on ebay that should be on their way here by now :) I'm such a dork for buying these things but hey, that's who I am and I like what I like. I'm not going to say what they are though. :P Let just say I like video games, nintendo, toys, and pocket monsters? :P Too much information. I'm out.

Until next time

Michael

Merry Christmas! It's been a very long time since my last post. I've been a bad blogger. Does that put me on the naughty list? ;) I hope everyone is having a great holiday season this year. Mine's been pretty relaxing so far. My shopping was kept minimal and only took a couple of hours to get done. Been watching all the christmas classics as they air on tv. Is anyone else wondering... where the hell did 2009 go? Seriously... I don't seem to remember much besides many celebrity deaths. So sad. RIP Brittany Murphy. Hopefully 2010 will be a tad happier....? Always love the beginning to a fresh year!

In case you haven't noticed.. I've been tweaking around with this new layout. You like it? Clean and simple. Anyway, its just past 5am and I should probably get some sleep. Too much caffeine tonight. Off to grandma's house tonight for turkey! mmm always love the christmas dinners! Can't wait!

Merry Christmas everyone!

And I'll try and update (I know I know..) more often :)

Oh yeah. Go and see Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel! I waited two years for a sequel and it was just as good as the first! The chipettes are awesome too :P

G'night

Michael

hey! HEY! HEEEYYY!!!!

My old layout was deleted from the previous server it was on . Im back to this p.o.s layout. EHHHHHHHHH

see you soon!

michael

What is up my fellow ... people? I'm alive and kicking.. sorta. Just wanted to quickly post to let you know (if anyone's out there) that those rumors of me dying in that plane crash, are just rumors. :P

But in all honesty, I will try and post something more exciting shortly. And I'm sorry about that depressing as fuck blog entry below this one, but I felt like I needed to saya final farewell to someone I loved so deeply.

Stay tuned kids!

-Michael

I was intending to write something about Michael Jackson passing, but it's been everywhere and said and done more than thrice. We will miss him. He was a genius. Rip MJ.

On monday, one of my best friends passed away, my kitty Chooch. :'(

I am devastated. She was always there for me for 15 years. She was apart of this family for so many years, since I was a little youngin. I have so many fond and dear memories that I will forever remember, to bring a smile when I need it most.

We didn't name her. She was once long ago, my neighbors cat. But he decided to move and leave her to be... She was an outside cat from then on. My family had never had a cat, well, for many years. So she lived outside, as a hunter, hunting birds and mice for food to stay alive, for TWO YEARS. I'm sure other neighbors maybe fed her, she always stayed healthy. Then I remember one day we brought her inside and she was climbing on our wood railing over the stairs. But, we did this just to try it out, and put her back outside. I remember when we started to buy food for her and leave a little bowl of it, with a bowl of water, outside all the time. Then she would come in the house more often. In and out if we left the door open. Then she stayed. We got a litter box. We tried toys, but she never really played with toys. She always slept inside now. Every night. Sleeping on our beds, on the couch. On the stairs. She would sit in front my keyboard while I tried to type or play a game. I would have to move her and tell her NO! all the time. She would curl up in my arms in my bed with me. She loved getting her neck rubbed. lol seriously. She would sit there for over 10 minutes, just letting you rub her neck. I would lay in my bed, and I could hear her outside at the front door (upstairs!), meowing like nuts to come inside. I would go and open the door, and she would run in. On rainy days, she would meow to go outside. We open the door, she sits and looks, and comes back inside. haha! But she got older, and more tired. She was so small this last year. She had become deaf I'm sure. She was a very old kitty. My family's been afraid that she would run off and die, because cats are known to do that. Or that we would wake up and find her lifeless. But I personally felt, she was fine. Just an older cat. A senior. On monday, there was an accident. I'm not going to go into details, but she got hurt by a car and I knew, she had to be put down. I came to get my keys and phone to head to the vet. I said to myself "I don't want to do this!" But it was the only thing. She was too old for surgery. It would be torture. It was a horrible experience saying goodbye. I told her I loved her and that she was going to be fine. I was holding her and making sure she felt okay. She looked scared, but seemed fine. The vet came and did the deed. Then she was gone. Just laying there. Lifeless. I kissed her head, said goodbye, and left the room.

It's been a rough couple of days. I'll look at different places in my house, and remember something of her. She was here for 15 years! And now, she's gone. She won't be meowing at my door anymore. She'll never curl up in the middle of my bed, making it very difficult for me to sleep. So many good memories. I will miss her more than anything. I know she's better now. At her prime. Running in the clouds. rip my baby.